I frequently forget just how blessed I am.
I frequently look at myself and see how much fatter I am than some of my friends (while forgetting I'm skinnier than others.) and look at my every imperfection as a sign that I am ugly.
I hear the mean things some people have said to me and start to believe them.
I am hard on myself, seeing the one thing I messed up that day as a sign that I'm a failure, or my inability to give 110% at work as a sign that I'm not a great nurse.
But today... I remember that I am blessed. I cannot count the number of blessing in my life, but I can try.
Today I got to sleep in! (sleep is precious, especially as a shift-worker)
I went out for coffee with a friend. We shared our dreams for the next year, we talked about our frustrations with work, we enjoyed some over-priced chai.
She gave me a ride to the post-office and grocery store, which is a blessing in -30 windchill!
When I got home, I had a whole stack of mail to work through, and I started with the business stuff. The biggest blessing: my tax review was processed and they are not asking for any of their money back! I sent all the right documentation to prove my case!!! All the bills in the mail were pre-paid, so there's nothing concerning about them. I got a summary of my loans, and they have gone down significantly... I'm on track to having them paid off before I leave here!!!! And at the end, I opened a couple of christmas cards and a small package from a friend that left me grinning ear to ear!
It is oddly easy to forget that I are beloved by friends who are so far away. It's easy to feel that I don't deserve to be loved that much. But I am. Thank you!!!
This year I took Christmas off and worked New Years. And just like every other year I have spent here, I didn't know who I would spend the holidays with. And just like every other year here, I had at least two offers about a week before Christmas. Every year I spend it with different people. And somehow that makes it more special. I'm blessed by all the amazing people I've met here, who will always remain my friends, in some way or another.
I have a family who loves me deeply, and wants me with them. Who would do almost anything within their power for me, if I asked (and sometimes even if I don't ask). I have friends who are as close as family. I have a job that will allow me to work anywhere in the world, and so many opportunities to pursue that! I have a God who wants to be my friend, my family, my savior, my Lord. And He is.
It's funny. But sometimes I let all the things that bother me come first. And I forget to find the blessing in my life. The interesting thing is... here, in this place, so far from everything and everyone that was familiar to me; from the very first day I arrived here, there is not a day that goes by where I can step outside and not be in awe of creation. Every time I go outside, I have a smile for the beauty that is around me, and for the One who created it. Today I find the blessings in my life, I hope you do too!