Can I smoke?

There is a conversation I have almost every day at work.  It goes a little something like this:

“How are you feeling?  Is there anything you need? *pause for reply*  You want to go smoke?  No, I really don’t think that’s a good idea right now.  *pause for reply*  Yes I understand you NEED to smoke right now, but it’s not a good idea because (insert one of the below answers).  Now try and get some rest.”

1. You are on oxygen, and you can’t smoke a cigarette with oxygen going, the tank could blow up, any you could end up with a badly burnt face... and no it’s not a good idea for you to go outside without oxygen, you will have trouble breathing and you might even pass out or have other problems.
2. You are unable to stand on your own right now and all of your visitors have gone home, so there’s no one to stay with you and your wheelchair outside.  I don’t think it’s safe for you to go alone right now.
3. You just had your baby a few minutes ago and we need to make sure you don’t bleed too much.  If you’re still okay in a couple of hours then you can go outside.
4. You just came back from surgery and can’t feel you legs yet.  When you can feel your legs and balance on your own, then you can go outside.
5. You are very sick right now with pneumonia/flu/COPD and going out for a smoke will only make it worse,  I strongly recommend not going.
6. You are on isolation precautions because you have something that other people could catch and become very sick from.  You are not supposed to leave your room.
7. You are here to care for your sick baby and he is awake and crying for food.  Please hold him and feed him, and once he’s settled, then you can go for a smoke.
8. You were badly hurt and may have broken your neck, until we can be sure you didn't break your neck, you need to stay flat on your back.  There is no way you can go for a smoke.

Honestly, I have a hard time understanding the addiction.  But I am grateful for those that get up and walk frequently because of it.  It's almost always good when people get out of bed and stay active, especially after surgery.